i feel like anyone who buys the iphone 5c will be heavily judged
there’s these weird red spots on my chest and i’m getting really nervous
fucking idiot doctor trying to tell me they’re called “nipples”
Ladies and gentleman, 21 year old twins and child stars Dylan and Cole Sprouse.
"I’m Calling Moseby" Bitches, he isn’t even playin’!!
THESE WILL BE THE BEST 11 SECONDS OF YOUR LIFE
"this tastes like ass"
"how would you know what ass tastes like?"
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
f is for friends who do stuff without you
u is for uninvited
c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten
k is for krispy kreme yum
this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like
one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the lights were off, my entire family went bowling and forgot about me
DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA
WH AT T HE AC T U AL FUC K
And he still has the heart to smile.
Oh, social media bots! A 21st century sitcom.